i kno its fucked up..but id rather sleep it off than seek medical attention right now
Oprah is sooooo fat. I can't even concentrate on Mackenzie Phillips talking about banging her dad
Fun fact of the day the average american will consume 13248 beers in their lifetime.
So for us it's double that?
Precisely.
dont like to call her my roomate, too cordial. i refer to her as the whore that was assigned to live with me
The guy in front of me in lecture is using a fifth of smirnoff as a water bottle.
Nevermind, it's not water.
Sometimes I think that I have too much self esteem
Then I realize that I'm just really fucking pretty.
She came in to my room half naked at 3am asking me if I had seen the movie balls deep 7
you'll be horrified to know he's visiting next weekend
You two are a rollercoaster of sex and silence.
When we were done making out, some guy ran into the room yelling, "I'll save you Brandon! I'll save you!"
I greatly enjoy being related to her. Even if is it only by a penis.
Bringing families together since 1987
Not many people can say they've been photo bombed by an antelope. I sure did.
People are talking politics and I have had 9 mimosas
Am I required to send a Christmas card to my fuck buddy?
Left my house last night with a girlfriend, $200 in my wallet, and 10 finger nails. Came home with no girlfriend, an empty wallet, and 9 1/2 finger nails.
Yea, I had a bad night too aha
so do you remember taking your shirt off and just standing in your bra at the bar or no?
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