margs and chips and queso make the world go round
well and inertia
They were so slutty we had to play "rarely have I ever."
He is going overseas for 8 months, not only was that blowjob a going away present, but i was supporting the troops
He took a banana and in front of everyone showed her how he wanted it done.
Nothing good has ever or will ever come from 50 cent beers at the bowling alley..
Apparently suggesting that she was the kind of girl who might be expected to kill someone's pets hurt her feelings...
I opened up my wallet and it was filled with puke.
WHY ARE YOU SMOKING WEED WHEN YOU JUST HAD A STROKE. AND MORE IMPORTANTLY WHY ARE YOU DOING IT WITHOUT ME.
I don't mean to insult you, but did you leave your training bra in my bedroom last night?
He's tweaking out . If he's on fucking bathsalts and eats my face like a chalupa pull the plug. I don't want to live with no fucking face. Pull. The. Plug.
Every girl my sister has brought home from college I've had sex with, check and mate motherfucker
I'm glad the semester is over. I need a break from the term "whiskey sharts" coming up so much in conversation.
We played Rock Paper Scissors to see who would have to go down on the other person.
Grandma and I are gonna see the new Tarzan movie, because we both appreciate shirtless Swedish men
It was weird, it was like my heart got a boner. Is this being an adult?
Randomize
