So.. My internet got red-flagged at work because i did a search on "midigit strippers las vegas" This may be hard to explain...
there is a baby dancing on the table amidst the smoke of multiple cigarettes. i want to trade lives with that baby.
Truth be told I was googling "why is my left calf bigger than my right calf", porn would've been a better excuse for a virus.
Should we pre-order food to the ER for cinco de mayo?
I'd just like to inform all involved that walking into a liquor store holding a milk crate at the beginning of a night as stock ends badly
Well my summer started by me waking up in a tube on the side of the pond this morning with 2 of my friends. So that's good..
Pretty sure I used toilet water to wash vomit off my face last night...
my paper on vitamins just turned into a 2 hour tangent google search on what i should buy to best cure a hangover. I need to stop getting high before homework
So I was just like hi, I'm your roommate's gf. Please don't hate me. That would be rly inconvenient for you.
He seems like a lot more than a waste of tequila
His girlfriend left him for the pizza guy. I am not fucking kidding.
HE PUT A HOLE. IN. MY. HOUSE!!!
how am i in montreal? thats like a 3 hour train ride. i remember nothing.
Still fucking the ballerina?
She can put her legs behind her head.
Enough said
Nothing screams "crazy cat lady" like a nursery in your house when you're over 30, single and have no kids.
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