Solid performance last night. Wanna be fuck buddies?
just won 30 on black! Ok adicteddd! Never coming back gqmbeqing is easy.
now my debit card is betting 1k whoops. im gongk eh be rich!!!
whoops didnt work. think the gambeli mashine is busters!! now im betting 2k?! bad idea?
new midget porn idea. Wizard of Jizz: Munchkins Revenge
I wish Pampers made couches for people like us.
just saw a girl throwing up in a taco bell nacho cantainor going 60 down the highway
we went to sleep in different beds and woke up spooning. alcohol truly is the anti-cockblocker.
Oh Brad. Your poor brain, always being ignored for your penis and crazy women.
ummm im also counting the $14 dollars I gave the old guy to pay for the cab I called for him to take to the hospital last night as part of ur present.
this night may include but is not limited to : police encounters, wild animals, stomach pumping, and waking up in a field
Drinking a bawls. If I'm dead when you get home, yes, they are poisoned.
I thought my ass was sore from the gym then I realized it was from being spanked. Confusing time in my life.
Masturbating with Lord of the Rings on was not how I planned my afternoon going but here I am.
Haha I wasn't coming anyway. I'm watching Snow White and don't want to put pants back on. Those are completely unrelated. Have a good night.
we didn't have sex though. because i have the will power of an ox.
I’m lazy so obviously looking like a rotisserie chicken is my favourite position
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