I could hear his roommate in the background imitating my sex sounds...
my mom just used "raw dog" in a sentence correctly, time to move out.
yeah so our basement was flooded 4 feet. we just smoke and drank and then went swimming. gotta make the best out of it
of all places to pass out....why right in front of our RA's door? OF ALL PLACES.
I think a 5 ft pyramid of jello shots in honor of the egyptians is in order
you are not perverted enough for this relationship to work out.
Ya, because touching his brother's face for 20 minutes in front of him wasn't bad enough, I also threw up in his garden and stole like 10 of his shirts before I left. But I fed his dog, so it's okay.
I am going to dream of scrotums tonight, I just know it.
he looks SO much like Drake, I feel like an extreme groupie every time we have sex.
Last night I woke up and the national rep of his frat was sucking my toe.
This is the Taco Bell dump we've all been waiting for.
HE STARTED HUMMING THE THEME TO STAR WARS!! WHILE I'M SUCKING HIS DICK!!
I drank beer out of a Frisbee and it was all downhill from there...
You need to go! It’s a midwestern wedding - the single girls out there think life ends at 25 if they don’t have a picket fence and family. That’s when your penis introduces himself
I’m on my way to fuck the new hockey player
Ride him like a Zamboni
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