my new favorite insult= "thundercunt"
it was like one of those moments where the couple runs together and kisses and everyone in the airport claps. but instead of clapping an indian guy walked by and said 'ahhhright! get some!'
I just came to the conclusion that the most depressing part of my day is when I have to put clothes on.
if you don't go out with us, what are you gonna do? you're gonna go home and watch biodome and masturbate to texts from your east coast boyfriend and see the facebook pictures from the party when you wake up.
Every time a song comes on I get sad if glee has not a cover of it
like he said he was barking at you while cumming in your face
I wish you could see how much hot sauce and broken glass are in our apartment right now.
Too much alcohol and too many lesbians. I can officially say I have regrets now. At least that's something.
Saved a life and got us a free vacuum cleaner (and learned vacuum is not spelled "vacumn"). Get on my level.
There's cereal in my underwear. Was I in your apartment at any time last night? That's the only logical explanation for this.
Good news, my sex bruises are fading. Bad news, my boobs look like I have a skin disease because of it.
Fuck you fireball...just straight up fuck out of here
So what did you do since you didn't go out?
...ate chocolate and watched bring it on....it's like I don't even know what it would look like to be straight.
YOU ARE STRONGER THAN YOUR VAGINA
What is ur current declared sexuality for my bingo board
Randomize
