I either date the nice guys or the assholes. There isn't any in between.
You need to find a taint.
She's the only one so far who hasn't laughed at me naked.... I'm gonna marry her.
Sorry for calling you a whore in front of your mom. World cup brings the worst out of me.
I just dropped macaroni right down my cleavage. For the sake of our future, I'm really banking on this being a turn on for you.
I get credit on the assist, you can thank me by taking a pic of her ass under the covers and sending it to me. It would make my YEAR
Theres a midget tsa agent. Just an observation
She has puke on the back of her shirt not quite sure how the hell she did that
Strip club for my birthday. And none of this discrimination shit. We're going to a guys one and girls one. Go get your singles.
I thought monday through wednesday was a YOLO free zone.
Waiting to interview and found a beer in my purse from last night
So that 100 days of sobriety thing I told you about last week? Lasted all of 4 days. Fuck it, life's too short
It took years to build this empire of casual fuckings and not carings.
You're like my little fucked up version of the groundhog seeing its shadow, only it's boobs and warm weather.
its as if im in a choose your own adventure book. except im not the reader and someone else is choosing my fate...one awesome decision at a time.
I would let him fuck me right here in this laundromat. Praise Satan.
Randomize
