I accidentally had sex with my boyfriend's twin last night...and he didn't stop me.
How was it?
Fantastic, but that's not the point.
In these economic times, linking arms taking tequilla shots with your boss as an underage girl is the best job security I can think of
im having a threesome with these popsicles
Its sad we have to plan out fun a month in advance. 30 sucks.
epic walk of shame this morning involving 2 subway transfers. I need to start sexing locally.
he looked upset that i wasn't completely shaven. i reminded him he had begged. and beggars can't be choosers.
i hope kanye doesn't show up to patrick swayze's funeral. " i'll let you get back to your funeral in a minute...but michael jackson had the best death of the year. just sayinnn ".
I've come to realize time passes slowest when I'm sitting in class, waiting for microwavable foods, working out, & giving head.
I need a $60 an hour job, because I have a $50 an hour drinking habit.
I've only left my bed to pee and eat nutella out of the jar with my fingers
Well you just missed the ten chi o pledges singing la bamba at our doorstep.
I'm 25 and she is 19. She wants to practice blowjobs on me because of my stamina. Not only does the GI bill pay for me to go to school I am teaching a freshman blowjob course. I love Texas.
I just got head while watching air force one. Harrison ford would be proud.
Never let your siblings swipe right.
Can I come over and get it in, take a nap in ur bed, grab some poptarts and then leave?
You haven't lost that air of class about you...
Randomize
