they say Disney World is the happiest place on Earth. It's a close second to the Super 8 on route 18. That place holds some great memories.
I failed the drunk obstacle course of trying to find my bed... consolation prize... a sore ankle and "disappointed' parents.
i just found my sim card.....i hid it in my tylenol bottle....i guess to ensure i would find it mid-hangover
the sex was "jacking off to playboy" bad.
There is a semi-attractive guy at the door who's looking for you. Says he met you on Chatroulette. Start explaining NOW.
For sure. We should see if we can get Mike to pay for one, and have a triple kegger... :o==& (that's future me projectile vomiting. i try to be goal oriented)
Also, I had a dream I had a ray gun and woke up holding my dick.
He is making me drink his THC water out of a milk jug.
looking at my texts from you makes me want to throw up in my pants
we shared soup. that is literally the extent of my romantic life right now
This girl looks like an elf and is obviously on coke. I want to be her.
Yep if he's taking selfies he's probably on drugs again.
If you buy me a steak I will make the extra effort to ride you. If not, I'm just gonna lay there.
I told him to come over when I realized that I did have time for a quick booty call before church.
Autocorrect changes "sex" to "sec". I have been so long without it my phone thinks I made a mistake.
Randomize
