how can u be prego again
i just realized i've been trying to levitate the potatoe chip out of her hand for the past ten minutes. i think i smoked to much.
Great, now everyone thinks I've had giraffe semen in me
his dad told me thanks for making his little boy a man at breakfast this morning
my bf wants us to fuck our way into the new year.. how original..
I've now graduated to the level of gay where I can tell Tegan and Sara apart.
i robbed the continental breakfast last night
Did we literally take a cab across the street
Realized it was likely to be cursed, didn't want my own Johnson magically turning into some sort of fire breathing reptile and eating me
That is an interesting fear as well as image
Her husband thinks she's banging me and nothing is going to change his mind so I told her we might as well just bang and make him right
Much like Dre, I was forgotten about.
Gotcha. How bad is it?
Well to compare it to something I would say it what's that walls would like inside the primate exhibit at the zoo after a group of monkeys finished throwing feces at each other all afternoon
In California. Through an entire game + OT. That’s a long time to have an octopus in your pants.
I woke up and couldn't find her. She had somehow managed to get into the closet and lock herself in. She was crying for her boyfriend. Thirsty Thursday at its finest
Gotta say, self-deprecating Lord of the Rings-themed sex jokes were not on my agenda for today.
Randomize
