Um, I don't know who U MEANT to send that to, but yes I WAS going to fuck you. Instead you can go play Halo with ur friends.
Just saw actual Chinese people doing a Chinese firedrill. Good day.
Pooping in your heated bathroom to the sound of rain and instrumental guitar might be the greatest experience ever.
No room in fridge, chilling wine in snow. Do NOT let the dog pee on it.
gpnpr hd vmdd nm the ggrl whm was mn my lar
I need you to use more vowels.
I only remembered where urgent care was because it's across the street from my favorite bar
Yes, you can 69 in a fiat. But I think I have permanent nerve damage
I meant to thank you again for giving up a potential interracial threesome to come to my party. I'm glad you stayed!
By the taste of his semen he isnt vegetarian and therefore lied to me to take me home on a brighter note i stole his fondue set
OMG THE KID WHO TRIED TO MAKE OUT AT THE BAR WITH ME IS SITTIG NEXT TO ME IN THE AIRPORT. WHY LIFE WHY???
just walked across campus with a bottle of champagne in between my boobs. night two and the quest for classiness is already over
Well right but if we go, he may just disappear for a long time into the unknown with the drag queens.
Putting plan B on my parents credit card wasn't the smartest idea
You showed me your butthole that's like a mating call in other species
snapping my married booty call and next thing I know a plan b ad pops up
Randomize
