Yeah, that's not really a good thing. Especially for a girl. You should get a tattoo on your stomach that says "Please wear a condom".
you kept typing in answers.com, why are the state police calling my house, expecting an answer
isnt it sad that we can reminisce about our childhood but we cant remember shit we did last month
if you hear someone banging on your door early in the morning, it's me with some breakfast burritos, so don't be alarmed
Fun fact: female penguins have sex in exchange for pebbles to build nests. I now know what im being for halloween
There's a big hole in the wall at the dining hall. I hope we didn't do
Finding out he was uncircumcised by feeling his foreskin in my mouth was NOT ideal. New rule. Lights ALWAYS on.
He probably tastes like german chocolate and coffee beans
Seriously though, my ovaries are trying to crawl out of my body and into his pants.
Get in your clown car, pick up everyone you know, and head to the park. drunk Sledding grand prix tonight. winner takes home the leftover beer
One day this summer I just wanna get blown under the hot sun all day.
Deal. Roof-top 69 on Saturday, July 20th. I've got it in my calendar.
He was just lying in his underwear like a present. I had to unwrap it.
yeah, I'm getting gagged by the cock of fate
Now: to brush my teeth, put on my grandma slippers and earplugs, masturbate to 50 Shades and then PTFO
I'm pretty sure the rest of my evening will consist of masturbating, drinking tequila and watching children's movies.
She was a cheerleader in college and President of her sorority and now she’s a sales rep for a pharmaceutical corporation. “High maintenance hot” doesn’t even begin to explain it
But dear lord is it worth it
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