I heard you aren't going to graduate...that suck sorry bro
I heard your girlfriend is trying to spread swine flu because she wants to wear one of those masks to cover up her broke ass teeth
Woke up. Made a pizza. Burnt it. Going back to bed cuz today sucks
Medical school killed my enjoyment of porn. Hard to keep a boner when you're diagnosing all the actor's STDs and skin disorders.
she made my bed before she left. i think i'm gonna keep banging her to get the housework done
you kept typing in answers.com, why are the state police calling my house, expecting an answer
Dude, we totally smoked up inside a church organ last night. Add this to the epic list.
Maybe you should go over there and lead him on and reach down his pants like he's about to get some and yank his balls.
That's the best idea I've heard all day.
His roomates just started party boying me. He stood there with the look of horror on his face.
One of the bamboo sticks broke and impaled him. I think he's drunk enough that it shouldn't hurt until tomorrow.
i just wrote an ode to an enchilada dorito. i'll need that pregnancy test now please.
I've noticed we have slowly begun to phase the "B" out of our Bromance.
Well start with a list of things you don't want to do... Like maybe 1) I don't want join Isis. That's a good start.
The lady at the front desk wished you a happy hangover.
Your life is a soap opera of great sex, cats, and booze.
so i may or may not have just had sex on the stage of the lecture hall....
Randomize
