just next time i won't let coke make me think I'm superman and drink a shit ton.
Dude, 1 prime defect in the snuggie- you can't fuck someone discreetly under a snuggie. No way no how
I took chris brown's side in the conversation ... cut to me not getting laid tonight
this weekend will be like the season finale to my life
She's like a pop up book from hell.
Her boobs are too amazing to be looking at my dick. I'm even ashamed.
And your hair- I'd make sure to pee on it first.
Fuck you. You would only tell me how to get to your house in Spanish.
You have permanently scared my back with your nails. I would like to congratulate you on a job well done.
Im blowing my nose and the only thing coming out is beer
Sad Megan is Sad
Have you been drinking my beer?
So it's safe to say that it's all down hill from here
Do you mean easy livin or downward spiral of alcoholism and disappointment
So I slept with some guy last night and when I woke up in the am couldnt remember his name. I text him n asked "How do you spell your name?" to try n find out and all he replied was "With an A." WTF!?
My ex-wife, who I haven't heard from since the divorce, just Amazoned me cherry flavored massage oil and a rainbow caps with the message "Happy Pride". What's the polite response?
Flirting with/getting ready to possibly sleep with a married HS classmate and getting added to a bible study group chat within minutes of each other. #Balance
Randomize
