how can i change my meal plan to a keystone plan?
He kept screaming "it's so seductive" while he was humping the wall
Hey man thanks for carrying me in and out of that frat house. There's no I in team.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to concentrate on legal issues with the ghost of his giant penis in me?
I'd be there a lot sooner if these damn stairs would stop moving.
The good thing about having holes in your nose from all the drugs you do is that you can't smell nasty things. Like puke.
Its not college unless your study breaks were to go throw up from blacking out the night before
So I ripped my crotchless fishnet body suit when my drunk ass tried to crawl through the crotch to put it on.
She's just done the monthly not prego dance around our kitchen
Your boyfriend and I are bonding over your giant dick.
They put paint on their hands and tried to see how many times they could touch me before I woke up.
Judging by this purple one they got to second base.
Jailed a totally belligerent hot guy. That was probably my most thorough pat down. Ever.
Almost caused a huge accident on the highway because I was distracted by how orange the road barrels were
Please remind me next time not to call the ex who cheated on me to cry about the ex who forgave me for putting him in prison. It would be much appreciated.
Note to self, the correct response when a guy tells you he likes you as a person is not "ew"
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