forget your mom, you can see her anytime. A one night stand only happens ONE night.
I'm so glad you managed to take a picture of your foreskin before you broke my camera.
I cant even remember his name or what he looked like. all I remember is what the tattoo on his forearm looked like.
well, he kindof looked like a walmart greeter. I tried to stop you
we are watching a video on ethics because somebody wrote "butt sex" on the attendance sign in sheet
Walked in on my boss having phone sex at work... and somehow this didnt bother nor embaress him
Oh god the guy I took underwear from at the bar is trying to add me as a friend on facebook now.
walk of shame into the pharmacy with a busted up chin and laughing the lady at the counter rolled her eyes at me when I asked for the morning after pill.
I'm pretty sure I just woke up to one of the airport janitors saying that she wanted to tie me up and do something.. I couldn't hear what, thank god
I was very proud of myself that day. I had an awesome time. I don't care if I negatively impacted others.
Twas the night before the bachelor party, and all thru the house...not a creature was stirring, not even a stripper?...
Weird come down, just saw a woman on the train go to grab something and realised she had terrifying hands. They literally filled me with dread. I don't think I'm ok.
I cancelled the entertainment for your b-day party.... Keep the bouncy castle just in case.
The only downside to doctor sex is that getting choked with a stethoscope leaves marks.
Of course i made out w him. He was painted green. You know of my secret longing for the Hulk.
I wear drunk well.
Randomize
