I feel like I bought a front row ticket to watch her screw up her life
Oh. They ARE dating. Kinda sad. Have such an urge to be a huge bitch and steal him but my morality is in the way. FUCK YOU MORALITY.
Question. Will thrown up fruit loops go down the shower drain?
in my lab write-up should i mention that i watered my plant with tequila?
Not going outside. I may melt into a puddle of wine
And then he told me he just wanted me to hold his cock while we watched tv...
I just got a call from the front desk apparently one of my feiends was dropped off by a handicap bus passed out in a wheel chair unlv is goig down
Well tech shes born nov 12, but since her head was out on the 11th, she claims both days as her birthday
It was like getting a handjob from a frost giant
Whatever it's Canadian jail, it's not like Guatemala or something. It'll be nice and cushy and they'll probably throw him a big bday party with all his friends and strippers
Hey Cat, it's Michael. You made out with me for a hot dog last night and I feel super used.
Someone called asking about the gate code and I said "hashtag" for # instead of "pound." Ugh. I feel so dirty.
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
I had no plans to sleep with him, but he had to stay because of the snow. I always say, don't look a gift storm in the mouth.
Shit. My boss is having me meet and greet with the new doc upstairs. Do you think his doctor powers will detect that I'm still high?
Randomize
