I faked an abortion last night.
I told her it just looked small because my balls were gigantic. She bought it.
We went out. i got lost. dunno where they were. they slept in the car. i slept in an outdoor shower. i dont know anything else.
then again I'm sitting on a tree stump completely naked in the dark listening to some type of glee soundtrack.
Somehow after we left in 3 different cars to all go to different places we still all ended up in the emergency room
good, we got high then went swimming. shelly forgot to keep swimming so we tied her to the ladder in the shallow part with her bikini top.
mid blow job she looked up and said "we aren't even facebook friends!"
College freshman give noticeably better blowjobs by the 5th week of the semester.
I would let Bear Grills repel down a waterfall using my dick if I could go to sleep right now.
I need five more minutes of sobbing.. AND THEN I will get back to studying
id like to think im the only pot dealing prostitute that is also an ordained minister. but maybe not. what a time to be alive
I knew I'd like her from the moment she supported me messing around with my co-worker on my lunch break
SOS... STANDING IN THE BAR NEXT TO MY BF AND THE GUY WHO I HOOKED UP WITH ON CHRISTMAS DAY..
I gave him a BJ in the shower
I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
There are two guys here arguing over Pearl jam and Nirvana. 1991 wants its argument back.
Randomize
