Just saw the pics you left in my phone. thanks for reminding me that last night was not a dream.
we ended up on her 9 year old brothers bed and he saw the whole thing.... now he will know how to use his equipment
You're like the curious george of whores
Just stole a goat. Bringing it to your house to cock block. Blame the goat not me.
This makes me miss penis. Not in a horny way... but in a sad, sentimental way.
I'm going to die alone in my chair and get eaten by my cat. That kind of break up.
we have what I like to call an assload of ramen noodles
I tried to pay my tab and go home but she wrote me a "list of things I'm good at" with fellatio as no 1...
I was like kind of drunk but mostly just very enthusiastic about beyonce
Sooooooo this guy just asked me if I'd be interested in a threesome... I'm considering bc I would get to hang out with his dog afterwards.
Already doing pt exercises by picking my margarita up off the night stand. Fuck yeah.
I mean, I let him sleep with me after we both ate taco bell sober... That's kinda like love, right?
Dude. $3 Jack n Cokes AND Cheesesticks... Find me tomorrow plz
Also, my guy said they would be around. And i clarified that when I asked him for mushrooms he didn't hear "a mushroom or two" but rather understood I meant "all the mushrooms you can find between now and 4th of July."
Yeah, we got drunk and stole road signs.
Randomize
