Party's warming up, a tranny just got here...
In line at the arbys drive thru on foot. Legendary.
I cut holes in my blanket and put my arms through it. It's the sleeveless "Bro Edition" Snuggie.
trsut me youll find me, im the only kanye west here and every1 is chanting dbag at me
swears the blind dude on this train is faking. Every day he stumbles and falls into a different girl's lap and then has to grab her tits to steady himself.
I miss being able to drink at 11am just cause it was sunny outside.
I was blowdrying my hair this morning and I swear to god it smelled like franzia
In a tragic sexting typo, I typed the word "blobjob". Now she's coming over and I have no idea what I'm in for...
They had half off shots during the fourth quarter. I was powerless.
oh dear god, that would be like watching to female walruses mate. We need to stop going to that lesbian bar...
you passed out while setting up your phones timer to time how long it would take before you to passed out.
Hey beautiful no judgement but why is there a bucket of KFC chicken in the bathtub??
I just had a flashback to us shaking up Gatorade mix and then inhaling it in your kitchen because it was funny. Now I can't stop laughing in work because that is the stupidest shit.
Lately I've been very attracted to Kevin Jonas because he's like...less hot than Joe, but he's this healthy mix of both Joe and Nick. It looks like he's finally growing into himself.
I am no longer and illegal Moonshiner. I just made thousands of gallons of incredibly High test alcohol with police watching and waiting for thare couple of jugs so that they can bring home and disinfect their houses with it. I'm fat with money at the moment.
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