Their flight hasn't even left yet and the 'buy food to keep yourself alive' budget is gone on tequila.
Some guy said that sham wows were the same as regular shammys. needless to say you had to be restrained. you kept trying to 'slap chop' him.
I swear he shrunk like 2 inches. Remind me that drunk sex needs to remain drunk sex.
So he told me he wanted to fertilize my caviar. Im avoiding all foreign exchange students from now on.
Hu mahhiw im so tired.i just got done. In fo dleepu. Aaaaaaahh. I qisj my mom filmed me. In axtunf so funny
My mom's 50 year old alcoholic friend just told me about how she was more whoreish then us at our age. Challenge accepted.
I can't decide if the sex was so good I couldn't move, or if it was me being loaded on all the morphine that they shot me up with at the ER.
Man...I want to get monumentally fucked tonight.
would it be uncouth to smoke a joint during office hours
This is why you're my favorite TA
So I sent him a snap of me half naked holding a pie last night.
I'm debating a nap but also debating breaking into the liquor cabinet
I'm really tired of this guy walking his chicken in my neighborhood.
went to class still drunk this morning and my professor made the class give me a round of applause and said, "see people, THIS is inspirational... if she can make it to class in this condition there is no excuse not to show up!"
college girl with braces trying to flirt with you...time to go
None of what you just said was coherent
I just bought wine at a gas station what the hell do you expect
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