i just saw a foot job.
porn is incredible...
my 3 year old cousin just woke up screaming "IT WON'T GO DOWN!'
I was debating whether her purse was real then I saw her puke in it.
On a side note, I now know what a $150 cab ride looks like
mom just told me i had to find a fake by next wednesday.
he asked me to hangout with him...and his son
I searched the house and found a small bottle of sherry which is probably as old as I am, has prob gone off and tastes like shit. I don't care any more. It has come to this.
He said hes taking shrooms and watching jurassic park so we're making a t-rex costume
we need ur ladder
I know you think I'm being paranoid, but can you please make sure Danny doesn't rub my wedding invitation on his balls?
I'm currently making some changes in my life. If you don't hear from me anymore, then you're probably one of them. Or I'm dead.
I just found that video of you jumping onto my exercise ball feet-first and face-planting into my shoe rack.
Peed in a sink tonight. That drunk. I'm not proud of myself for what I did. But to carry it out with such class. I should be awarded
I mean I love some drunk compliments, but he just wasn't up to my low standards.
Halloween is the end of the singles holidays they don't start again until st. Patrick's day we better get wifed up or it's going to be a long winter lol
I'm still not sure how to feel about the fact that we had a threesome with a guy the same age as my dad
Randomize
