just fought my dog for the chicken pie I dropped on the floor.
I don't think he realizes it but he was stroking the faucet while he was talking to me.
My mom and I are having a "yay I don't have herpes" shopping trip day
I'm this close to masturbating to his profile pics from 2006
We woke up under the ping pong table holding hands.
guy just got out of the car at the drive in and told his girlfriend "fuck you and your taco" and walked off
I vaguely remember telling a bum she was worth more than this
he threw up in a solo cup, then washed it out and used it to play flip cup. Im not sure if thats resourceful or disgusting.
I've hit an all time low I just sent a boob pict to fat Randall the one I gave a partial bj to a year a a half ago
Maybe is for pussies. We only say yes in this household
I woke up naked wrapped in a wolf blanket on the bathroom floor
Do you know how close I got to throwing him over the edge of the canyon?
Like I thought me shitting my pants was bad today... Then the election happened.
yeah, i thought because of the nature of his job he would have been better at it, but i guess there's a difference between a bagpipe and vagina
Just got done being naked and Mooning the cops. I'm still alive. Let's drink.
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