tell her no need for introductions. and that you've read about her on the back of toilet doors.
There is a distinct lack of front teeth here.
you proceeded to scream out that it's your birthday to everyone who walked by before you collapsed in the middle of the street. happy 21st birthday to you.
After last night, I've decided I will now bang only men who professionally ride things for a living. I will accept jockeys, cowboys, bullriders, and pro bicyclists who lie and say they're bullriders.
I'm impressed you managed to decipher 'annslqllpprebBcncnj' into 'I'm drunk at the Vic, come pick me up and do me on the kitchen table'
well this is gonna sound really bad but we were fooling around on sandra's electrical wheelchair
whose ass print is on the piano?
First time since we broke up that I'm not drunk before noon...win for broken hearts everywhere
I'm in Florida in a retirement community the fuck am I supposed to do but watch tv and disgrace Jesus
Tis the season to play Pocahontas! (AKA: Eat a bunch of acid and run around the yard barefoot, the first person to see the colors of the wind, wins!)
IT'S LIKE LOOKING INTO GOD'S VAGINA!!!!
Just realized that I bailed on you guys yesterday just so I could get wendy's. it was worth it but still, sorry
Married dude I had an affair with 10yrs ago was at table next to us at dinner last nite. My mom asked him to take a pic of us & then commented how cute he was as they left. Do I tell her he’s got a huge D too?
Sooo does anyone wanna tell me why I threw up a cigarette this morning?
OMG YOU DID TO?!
Anything special planned for Valentines Day?
Does testing the strength of my coworker’s marriage count?
Randomize
