woke up with 15 BAGS of hot dog buns in my passenger seat... jameson strikes again
Fuck the gym. I just shaved m'cooch and my pants now fit looser.... Dont judge me.
we can't become the bulimic house in the complex dude. Besides, you need teeth for your career.
if women knew the size of my dick, theyd be much more receptive to my sloppy drunken advances
Now there are two cop cars. If I go to jail I just would like to thank you for making me wear boxers.
Your dignity remains intact. He, on the other hand, is completely convinced he slept with your cat.
So I am just swinging blind here, but I am guessing that blood in your sinus is not ideal
Things I have that belong to you: shorts, headband, bra, purse, chinese food, vodka, and blood on my jeans. Happy homecoming.
I'm still hoping for it dude. Random north dakota pussy. If my 16 year old self knew that these were my dreams he would so try to beat me up, and i think he could.
I made her orgasm until she cried. Four years of only having sex with dudes and I've still got it.
After arriving 30 minutes late, he slowly walked to his desk and halfway there he just falls over like a tree and passes out. I now have some sort of proof as to how awesome that night was.
He's practically not my boyfriend anymore. So let's go get some glitter, balloons, alcohol and forget this night ever happened.
Well I'm missing half a toenail if that's any indication of my night
i think im in europe. pls send help
We banged in his car behind the burrito place. Google Maps keeps asking me to rate my visit. 5/5, would cum again.
Randomize
