i just want his dick, seriously i'm about to take trifiling lessons. we'll call my alter-ego blair and she will screw his brains out, girlfriend or not.
so how much must it suck for him to know that the penis of his best man has been in his wife's mouth before?
he said 'i want to be the peanut butter to your jelly, just without the crust' and then tried to take me shirt off
you know you made out with my sister while holding Ur girlfriends hand while she was puking in the toilet right
omg just made cake vodka jello shots, sooooo excited
dear god these taste like death. death and sprinkles
She's got a butler. A fucking butler. Shes like batman, but with a better ass.
Make way for the handjob queen! She will grab what she wants, when she wants, and from whomever she wants.
He was kissing me at red light while his penis was in an aluminum beer bottle peeing..
Start warming up your vocal cords, because Fucking With The Windows Open season has arrived.
Wait do you remember that guy last night asking to use my nose ring to open his beer.......
Sometimes I just want to kiss you without you pulling ur cock out and waving it at me
If it exists, I've probably pregamed it.
Is there ever a non-asshole time to play the "I was a child prodigy" card?
It will be the shitshow of all shitshows.
I cannot believe I am seriously having a conversation about my best friend's sexual prowess as a dream lesbian.
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