And my dad told him he was a great looking guy. and then added "no homo" after.
just peed in the tub, threw it on Megan.. she threw more back, I got out and threw toilet water on her.. forecast for tomorrow? pink eye.
i dont know whats so great about being respectable.
I need a secretary to manage my drinking schedule.
its preseason football. its like non alcoholic beer. who gives a fuck
Just had a flashback of you announcing "your nipples aren't that big for the size of your boobs, I've seen them"
Woke up in my own bed with a "New Years Eve 2011" bar bracelet on. Both of these things confuse me.
It'll be a Christmas-Fucking-Miracle if we get through the ceremony without a groomsman vomming
I am so proud of him. After eating the rest of our shrooms, he finally registered to vote
I was like, booze is the closest thing I have to a father. Don't pour daddy down the sink
Just reintroduced tequila back into my life...so that's happening
YAS SHES BACK AND BETTER THAN EVER
I'm glad you found someone that both loves you and is cool doing coke off your tits. Proud of you.
I'm glad I date someone who likes the simple things. Sex, kittens, and McDonald's.
Nows a good time to tell him. Just be like "yeah, I used to bang her too and it didn't work out for us either". He'll understand.
You were painting for six hours and managed one four foot wall. "The Mellow Handyman" isn't a good business model.
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