And if you don't call me, I will embarrass you publicly with a can of spray cheez.
I don't understand why we need a holiday to become more aware of boobs...
Is King's over? Or do I still have to say 'On Matt's cock' at the end of every sentence on matt's cock?
it makes it look bigger when i shave, i hope its not the same for a girl
They just yellow carded someone for spilling a drink because it was a party foul. Love germans.
He corrected me on my grammar when I came. Fuck English majors.
everyone contributed. i held her hair back, he rubbed my vag... it was a team effort.
His daughter is our waitress. I left her a ten dollar 'I'm sorry I'm a whore and fucked your dad' tip...
I'm a gay man planning my brothers bachelor party, and he choose someone else to be his best man. I hope they like appltinis and gay clubs. Bastard.
The Supreme Court upheld health insurance. If that's not an excuse to get hospital drunk, I don't know what is.
My mom just asked me if I can obtain a fake ID by thursday
Idk man, most things I eat are even better than I expected. Like when I drunkenly put mac and cheese on a slice of cheese pizza or when I soberly put mac and cheese into a Taco Bell burrito.
That makes sense.. A good Bj is a trump card in any argument
I almost stopped mid bj to let him know I appreciated his balls being nice to look at/have my face near. But I didn't know if that would ruin, or improve the moment.
This is why you have to watch more Zombie movies- to prepare for End Times...
Randomize
