JOSHUA! WE ARE SO BREAKING UP!
what?
YOU'RE DRUNK AGAIN, ARENT YOU?!
It's sad that I have started checking out the ring finger before the rack...I'm getting old
I used a physics textbook to prop her up so she wouldn't choke on her vomit...see I have learned something from statics class.
Don't tell me wow. Tell me this is normal for college and in no way am I a whore.
in case you blackout.. this is confirmation that yes, you were sitting spread eagle on the kitchen floor chugging pickle juice out of the jar.
We used a lit joint as a candle for her birthday cake
I'm going on a valentine's date with the random guy i hooked up with in the bar bathroom this weekend...i feel like julia roberts
I'm drunk at a gay bar with my riding crop. God save the queens
What are you wearing tonight?
The colors of the winddddddd
After I was arrested and in the back of the squad, she lit a cig. I politely stuck my head through the glass opening and asked for a drag. She instantly slammed my head back, blew smoke at me and shut the glass. My view on state trooper chicks is forever tainted.
I woke up in confetti... confetti and shame
I work 80 hours a week to prevent myself from just laying in bed and masturbating all day. It's a hands off strategy.
ayo
its like you know when i get waxed
I can’t believe I made out with a flat earther and didn’t know about it until now!
Great, now I'm picturing myself as a fucking garden gnome
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