I want your puppy
I meant pussy
I would rather you take my puppy
and then he ordered a "diet and rum" like the most important part of the drink was the diet.
question: from what angle do you give a hand job. im confused..
Haha Tomato, Tomato. That doesn't work very well via text message.
I googled Canada's legal age of consent. I have good news. It's 14. Justin Bieber here I come...
You thought that the "chillable" logo on the box wine was referring to a city in italy.
I just woke up with streamers wrapped around me. Glitter in my hair. My fish are swimming in empty bottles of Barcardi. Helpppp
Pre-order weed for 4/20 and i'll give you a discount.
I knew I was in the wrong bar when "I have a daughter your age" was some random's pick up line.
You said eat breakfast. So i poured Baileys on top of m&m's. It taste just like like cereal I swear.
his life revolves around getting high and answering people on yahoo answers. he's perfect for you.
I smell like fire and strippers. Successful sunday funday.
We used the solo cup bag for her hair tie. Desperate times call for desperate measures.
I don't even see the point of going over to his place dressed anymore.
I hope you fall on your chin.
Jealousy makes you ugly.
I need Jameson.
Yea? How do you think I feel? Your job during the delivery is to keep that flask ready. The moment our kid pops out, I'm taking a shot.
Randomize
