We should go out drinking together soon
I'm still not going to have sex with you
Theres this fat girl in desperate need of the proactive factory in my class and as i watch her shovel food in her face I am struggling to not only keep down my meager lunch but also to stay straight. Eliza Dushku couldnt even get my flacid dick to move
I got to watch him fuck me from behind in the reflection of an ornament. so glad I decorated.
i think the bruises are from the grocery store. on separate occasions. i've been spending a lot of time drunk at the market lately.
i have a vague recollection of being in the parking deck around 4 this morning, and on monday morning i was naked on the roof.
that would mean it's on tape
drunk guy next to me on the train just tried to share his pizza with me
he just tried to feed it to me...i love new york
How much is that going to cost?
A lot of beer.
Heed the warning of the ghost of Oktoberfest present: German beer is soooooooo much better than our watered down children's piss. also lost all my clothes and am wearing lederhosen the rest of the trip.
Oh god. I finally realized why the coked out Stevie wonder was explaining the concept of movember to the McDonalds clerk. Drunk me didn't process that another month comes after Halloween... It's apparently November.
He kicked in the door just as I climbed on top of him...and stood there. I felt like I was in a porn. It was invigorating.
I was weirded out when the chunky goth girl and her boyfriend both started eyeing me and wanted to by me a drink.
Well after we were arrested you just kept chanting "Like a good neighbor state farm is there"
Let's play "Guess What I Just Found In My Vagina?"
He couldn't undo my bra. He ended up breaking the clasp he clawed at it so long. We met on Tinder for God sake
I'm sure as hell not getting hoodwinked into going back to rehab again
we went book shopping, so yes this relationship is going to be about more than sex
Randomize
