DUDE. I'm missing my big toenail. My bed has blood all over it. WHAT DID WE DO LAST NIGHT?
I don't know, but I chipped my tooth and I'm wearing different underwear.
I play with my boobs when I'm bored. I playwith my nipples whe I'm drunk
Yeah, I was googling pictures of sharks, and I accidentally typed "shart." Huge mistake.
Dude, we totally smoked up inside a church organ last night. Add this to the epic list.
I miss being able to drink at 11am just cause it was sunny outside.
I was chocking and even did the sign for it..And you continued to just laugh
It's like I just got slapped in the face with the cock of nostalgia.
you should probably know that there's a naked dude in your window
i wouldn't normally say anything but you seem to not be there
He finally delivered on the dick pic, and Jesus Christ, it was worth the wait.
eh, I feel I'm heading for a breakdown and I need to get it out of the way before I start writing that lab report.
I'm just going to take the mature adult root and ignore him for a bit, and then pretend like I didn't see him jerking off.
She took her panties off, then farted in my general direction. I guess we're at that stage in our relationship.
she walked through the crowd, completely naked, slapped a pool attendant in the face and stole the towel he was carrying. she used it to dry her hair.
It's 8 in the morning and you're doing coke and drinking margaritas. First, you have a problem. Second, why didn't you invite me?
oh i see... well this is a positive first step in you courting him for sex.
Randomize
