Am I the only person who thinks Megan Fox looks totally like a Thai lady boy with a serious tanning bed fix?
So guy #2, the dancer, is programmed into my phone under the name H.uy. His number- 11 digits. I should have stopped drinking.
Well the light went out so I was throwing up by candle light. Strange moment in my life.
We made out for three hours. Then she said she didn't sleep with redheads and left the party. So yes, I'm still drinking.
I think I used your jacking off shit when I showered. I couldn't see shit, it was all oily. Fuck power outages
We smoked speed and opium for the first time. ended up harvesting cucumbers with locals at 9am in a farmers field. Laos is fuckin crazy.
You left something at the house but since I'm back home now so I can just mail it over. Address?
I didn't realize you could put dignity in a box these days.
Come to office depot with me I need help picking out a daily planner that will help me keep all of my casual sex dates organized.
He went snooping and now he's all intimidated by my super amazing box of sexy time toys.
Please stop calling it that.
so it took us like 45 minutes to get into the party.... then when we wanted to leave we were blocked and forced to stay.
....you got kicked INTO a party??
what the hell makes you think you get to decide what your going to wear at our weding!?
I gave her two orgasms and then we laid there and she ate jelly beans out of my belly button...that girls a keeper
I let a drunk straight girl spank me with a metal paddle at the bar tonight. Remind me to never do that again.
She stood up through my sunroof the entire drive home. screaming her ass off and singing free falling..
dude I fucking saw you snort tequila
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