So you're telling me it's impossible to have a "slight case" of chlamydia?
Anywhere you can eat green eggs and ham, you can have sex.
miscarriage! now THATS a gift from god.
I was about to watch some really classy porn. Title was ravenous for dick. I didnt know pornstars knew ravenous was a word.
Well he paid for dinner, so I paid for the Plan B, but the parking ticket I got is totally his responsibility.
So she just apologized to the fire extinguisher.
I want to do something romantic. Like gargle champagne before I put your dick in my mouth.
It was pathetic and I was covered in butter
Only Jon could get an entire commuter train to chant "Ride! Jon! Home!" to get a girl in bed.
You sucked a guys dick who's name was Chad and that wasn't a sign that it was a bad idea?!
Sorry that I got drunk and refused to let you buy me pizza. I'm a monster and I understand if you hate me forever
My history professo slid into my DMs. Granted I did give him “fuck me” eyes during a lecture a few times.
I hear my roommate snoring and I feel bad for his girlfriend but then I hear them having sex and I guess it all works out in the end.
I just woke up, dressed as Chris Brown, with a bunless hot dog (presumably from 7/11) in my pocket, wearing a pair of shoes I don't recognize as my own. Help.
I should not have moved in with him. He's got porn stashed everywhere like a homosexual squirrel.
You love porn!
Not in the sugar bowl when I'm making my Mom coffee I don't.
Randomize
