i'm really high, and this is sooooooooooo important. how many frosties does it take to fill a bathtub?
what kind of dress can i wear to my high school reunion that says "even though i'm more successful than all of you i'm still up for sex"?
You would think that an uncircumcised man would understand how the hood of a clit works.
i remember getting really pissed off when you wouldn't let me sleep in the garage with your cat.
im probably shirtless right now with a bottle of jack watching horton hears a who. this is a judgement free zone.
Woke up today to the sound of church bells. My first thought was shit the apocalypse, but then I remembered my hook up lives next to a church. This might be a rough day.
I just sit in the cubicle for 8 hours and do keagles.
See, thats where im at with my life, welcome to the slut yaht we will be cruising comfortably all summer at an extremely drunken relaxing pace S.S. Slut Bucket
They're tearing apart the house I lost my virginity in:(
The ONE weekend I don't put anything up my nose, and it decides to bleed like crazy
I think my body is literally trying to get me to reproduce. "fuck someone! Anyone!" - my body
He's like a father figure to me, except we have casual drunk sex every now and then
He was stoned laying on my bed singing I'm a little tea cup while I took a pregnancy test. Thank god it was negative.
Nothing like introducing yourself to your high school boyfriend's wife as "the girl who took his virginity"
he's been dating her for 18 months and cheating on her with me for 16. if that's not commitment, i don't know what is.
Randomize
