She might as well just lie down with one of those red "Easy Buttons" next to her
its like my vagina has this homing beacon out to all the guys saying "come find me, i havent been shaved in weeks"
you just can't say no to drugs on a mirrored table.
No I'm not okay I had a crush on the singer of Tokio Hotel for four months and now you tell me he's a dude?
im failing my bio class b/c he booty calls me wednesday nights at 6 like clockwork
He turned down jacuzzi sex. He cares more about my vagina than i do.
watched two friends get underages. one had a shirt on that said lets get wasted while the other said to the cop "i understand your just trying to do your job but that was dirty bro".
Fulfilled a bucket list goal last night. Borrowed a dollar from a stripper to buy smokes
God bless Atlanta.
Its was awkward last year cuz in the middle of it her mom bust In the room with noise makers and champagne
maybe facebook could make a notification like "someone tagged a photo of that guy you used to bang and still think is really hot with his shirt off"
I just found a To Do list on the table, written by me last night, that just says "1. Go downstairs. 2. Get Pickles. 3. Laptop"
I feel like I have a very capable uterus.
Welcome to my Tuesday when my lesbian ex girlfriend shows up unexpectedly and gets me drunk and then leaves
Was just trying to have a normal "I fucked you without a condom" adult conversation and she flipped
I may have just sent her dad a picture of my penis. His name's Myron, right?
Randomize
