I seriously need 2 stop fake jacking off in peoples faces at work...the I.T. Guy just showed me the security surveillance tapes.
You have problems? I'm 20 years old and i'm balding
It just hit me that i made out with someone's mom last night
Her parties are sponsored by Valtrex. This might not be your best idea.
and she is using the paper towels as a pillow... but you know what? i've done that too.. so u can really tell we are sisters.
I had a great penis washing session in the sink before I left. Washed off all the bar and green beer
Getting stoned at work has never been a good idea, but im always more than willing to give it another chance
cassie wtf are you alive??! no one has seen you for like seven hours whereeee did you go
IS IT POSSIBLE FOR A GUY TO NOT HAVE BALLS
Well I talked to some Canadians today, and I'm keeping a vigilant watch for sharks, so I'm pretty booked up.
so i might have figured out why that girl isn't talking to me...I'm 90% confident I didn't give her a pillow when she stayed over >.>
She was two things I dont understand: tall and Christian
A Morman just tried to recruit me and I told him "Trust me, you don't want me"
all I remember is grinding on everyone in the room regardless of gender and quoting the lion king non-stop. We need to stop buying Jameson.
Oh yeah I meant to tell you the Tomb Raider looking girl so crop dusted me on the stairway
fyi my negative pregnancy test is taped to the fridge...i'll take it over an A+ any day. be proud.
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