So she stayed over last night and slept walked in to my moms room where she used the bathroom and then proceeded to get in bed with my moms naked boyfriend. So yeah, at least now my family got to meet her.
Evryone should know as good ramen noodle cooked in beer sounds... its not
I just saw a kid walk into class with his dad. Fuck his life.
He tried to pick up a girl by telling her about his homosexual experience in high school.
You stayed up for three hours wasted, feeding my rabbit 2 1/2 boxes of girl scout cookies.
Yeah like at least with a penis what you see is what you get with a vagina there can always be a surprise inside
He hasn't responded, but he probably just jizzed in his shorts again, so I'll give him time.
I can't drink with the moms anymore. All they talk about is lactating.
Until she magically finds a brain, I'm going to be a dick. Fair trade. She's a idiot, I'm an ass.
my pupils became my eyes and i slept with a cloth in my mouth again
Moments after comforting her about her boyfriend issues I found myself in the other room showing him my tits.
You kept trying to make people drink "salsa-ritas." But all you did was dump tequila in a half full jar of salsa, and shove it in people's faces while shouting at them.
I'd be 10x more excited if going out didn't require pants or the general giving of fucks
My hook-up from last week somehow found me at the club, saw the girl I was trying to fuck, kissed me right in front of her, and walked off.
I just bought a slurpee and condoms. God bless America.
Randomize
