Princesses don't give blow jobs
Just got roadhead in a driving snowstorm. That shit should be a Winter X games event.
thanks for brining me home and putting me in my bed. the pillow fort your built around me is also appreciated.
But life is now good. Well, not good, good would be not wearing the penis hat with the extended family of the boy I just cheated on, but as good as it's going to get today
Maybe he meant to say like I love fucking you? But just forgot the fucking part.. That's what I'm telling myself.
I feel like his penis would have a weird haircut because he does.
I want "hickeys on my ass" sex
Ten minute nap on a staircase honey badger don't care
I love you. Mom got to wasted at the wedding that she threw up on my shirt.
I was looking up travel destinations and somehow I ended up reading Paul's first letter to the Corinthians. I need to start going to church high...
Just participated in the saddest thing: Cheetos. Handjob. I have lost at life
I'm gonna chug this bud light an might injure this high school penis, like I'm 17 again
Ive decided to see your threat against my life as you flirting
There are flour footprints all over the house. Either u guys are trying to pull that Paranormal Activity shit on me again, or u got drunk and tried to make pancakes.
U NO SLUT. YOUR HEART IS JUST FREE.
One day I'm going to get tired of waking up and wondering where the glow sticks on the floor came from.
Randomize
