I just five second ruled a donut I dropped at starbucks, everyones staring
Everyone was high fiveing on their a walks of shame home. God im gonna miss college life
doing lines of blow through a tampon applicator in the study lounge at 7am so i can finish an italian composition that was due a week and a half ago...such a good student.
Being thankful with your family is one thing. Being thankful with your friends while getting drunk and smoking bowls while eating leftovers, priceless.
"Bring the kids" is the most terrifying 3 words I've ever heard in my life.
This essay is so getting done. I am spurred on by thoughts of test-driving your newly shaven face by sitting on it as soon as humanly possible.
Tonight just try not to threaten to pee on the hot guys buying us drinks....please..
The best part of that night wasn't even the sex, it was listening to her explain to her boyfriend why she was naked in her room while I hid in her closet.
I don't know. Something about answering "what did you do on Sunday?" Seems odd when the reply is, painted, went to the grocery store, put a restraint device on my bed.
He either works for the Irish Mob or I'm being Catfished
These are all good points. But, I think your under estimating what it's like to be held upside down for a standing 69
It's cosmic balancing. My vagina is an instrument of karmic retribution.
There is always the bar, but 2 30 on a Tuesday just screams alcoholism
Antibacterial soap and prayers does not for spermicide make
I swear I have some evil slut demon in me when I'm blacked out
Don't we all.
Randomize
