is her vagina suppost to smell like dirty taco bell?
I'm destined to be knocked up by a sailor
You two were too busy to notice that his used condom landed on me when he threw it.. Thanks.
Well then I realized I had a bigger problem when I woke up a long board.
Mom just texted me to see if it was you who was streaking at the Mariner game... Did you accept yet another $1 bet?
The night started going downhill when I set my foot on fire.
just remembered spooning on the cardboard and confessing to each other we had the spins.
If I give you a key to my place you have to promise to one day wake me up with a blowjob.
And by one day I mean once every two weeks.
Karaoke machines out. We're taking turns farting into the microphone. Shits going south fast. Definitely be awake when you get home.
My mom just gave me my fake back to buy her more wine.
Oh and yeah that does count as public urination.
Plus idk what to say. Like hello dapper gentleman will you pursue me in a midnight hangout where I can be choked
I'm questioning my decision to swallow this morning while my stomach was in hangover mode
they call themselves the foursome.. thats def means they're up for one right?
I still dont see how i drunkenly impressed your mom
Randomize
