wow, farting in latex pants is really awkward.
SECOND walk of shame from the westside Hilton, SECOND foreign family w kids staring at me in my dress, glitter purse, spiky heels and booze breath. I said I was going to church. More confusion.
I really hope you get sexually violated by a pterodactyl tonight.
he thought i was passed out so he proceeded to jerk off while i lay on the floor next to him
i would never do something against you youre the best i ever had
please tell me you did not just intentionally quote drake..
she's not even a shacker, she never made it inside. she's just a porch girl
tonight's goal was "most regrettable decision" and you bring wine coolers?
she is like cheap alcohol. you can only get so buzzed before you get sick.
A kid in my class brought a George Foreman and cooked food mid lecture. When the prof found out, all the kid did was ask if he wanted some.
It's so hard to find a shirt to wear out that is easily taken off, cut off my paramedics, but says "I'm a grown, respected woman"
Hey, I shot that toilet dead center, drunk, from at least 6 ft away. I'm a fuckin awesome shot. You guys were completely safe.
Yes, that toilet won't be hurting anyone anymore.... Hahaha
Dude a gay guy just Sparta kicked this Samoan guy for calling him a flamer you need to get down here the free kamakazee shots haven't even started yet
So random question. Does beer act the same as other alcohol disinfectants?
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU
MANY MANY THINGS AND MOST OF THEM ARE YOUR FUCKING FAULT
Hey, before I head out, whats your policy on casual drug use and one night stands?
Randomize
