if you google earth my address you can see me getting out of my car. finally my moment of being famous
Having sex with her is like doing taxes, Happens once a year and I usually end up paying.
I'm inventing beer flavored vodka. This raspberry shit makes me feel like a pussy.
Eventually evolution will just give us a better liver anyway, so our great great grandkids should THANK us for our binge drinking.
ohhh no, absolutely not. i am waaayyy too superstitious to have sex with the self-proclaimed "baby-maker" on father's day...
His roommate left already and took the beer pong table so we had to take off his bedroom door. Maybe res life won't notice.
He is just a personification of a vodka hangover.
Yes. Sex with questionable women, and made of potatoes.
Look at my fb. It says single. That's the gospel.
Bourbon is too strong for my cat, he does not want to drink it
No. There is no way we have to stoop so low as to ask your dad for weed. There has to be an alternative.
Will you skip merrily into hell with me?
It's not even 8:30a, wine glass is broken, there's sugar everywhere, and your mom just asked me what MILF means.
You didnt text me.. I'm on your street with golf clubs
Guy just walked in with a 40 and a Honda steering wheel. Where the fuck am I?
I've got two reasons for you to come over later and one of them is pierced.
Randomize
