Don't worry I'll hold the wheel while you cum
after the cops left he pulled the weed out of his ass and we smoked it
She refers to my dick as princess Sarah... oddly I'm okay with that.
I knew it was going to be a good night when i heard another girl call his dick "Thor's Hammer"
I just can't have sex with a guy who has nicer eyebrows than me
I met her at the quidditch match. She was the snitch and I caught her. After at the bar she walked up grabbed my hand and said snitches have flesh memories.
You chucked an empty vodka bottle against the wall and yelled "Everyone calm the fuck down, it's just the cops." After 10 seconds of silence I looked over and saw you pissing their fountain.
Really uncomfortable with the level of eskimo brotherhood at this family reunion
We bought a pool from walmart at 2am...and to make matters even more white trash we headed to Applebee's for half off appetizers and corona-ritas
You were so drunk you coat checked your shoe... Not even both of them. Just one shoe.
Does me being hung over take away from how professional I can be today?
I don't remember anything after falling in the ditch, but I now have confirmation that my rib is broken. Never drinking again.
Sorry I wore your bra during sex last night
Okay first of all, that is a sick ass nickname please call me that forever. Second, i need your help.
dude the water is back on, you can stop shitting under the tree . . .
Randomize
