summer is not the time to consider going full bush.
and all i could think was, am i really about to have sex with someone who still thinks that pee comes out of the actual vagina?
friends don't let friends hook up with gingers.
Do you ever look back at facebook pics and say, "are those really guys I had sex with?"
He just kept muttering to himself "stabby stabby stabby stabby" while we were boning. I will never be boning him again.
Note to self: You can't deep fry cheese-its.
like he couldn't stop by and throw me in the back seat and ask for a blowjob? he had to give me flowers?
If you haven't seen a huge black man in tiny red snowflake shorts that barely cover his dick, then you don't know what I'm going through.
thats because you have standards... and i have a thing for guys that give me free drugs.
My dad, when he got home and saw me loading a bowl in the living room: "We have TWO beautiful balconies to get high on and you pick the couch?!"
I'm throwing in the towel on today. The puke gods have won this war
The international association of gay square dance clubs had a booth set up in the lobby of my hotel.
It'll be a pair of asscheeks that light up when they're summoned.
Sometimes having a penis is like having a really stupid drunk best friend. You see it doing dumb shit but you're just not the one in charge.
It's 7am. I'm sitting on the curb in last nights clothes with a nose bleed and no idea how to get home. Low moment I feel.
Randomize
