See it, we're so close, i smell your vagisil
i said i was sorry for his girlfriend's cancer diagnosis and he said "easy come, easy go" and tried to fuck me
He said if I stayed the night he'd take me to church in the morning.
he squeezed my boobs like he didn't know what else to do with them, then turned down head...
told you he was gay.
I totally need to blow more fat guys. His cum tasted like vanilla ice cream
They asked if I was about to puke and my response was to laugh and suddenly throw up. Continuing my asshole streak I kept laughing while still vomiting.
I got eye-fucked by an 80 year old man wearing a cowboy hat while I was singing country. How do you think karaoke went?
Chuck job is nothing more than to be my dick stand when I'm too drunk to hold it while pissing
On the plus side, I got cel phone video of a major fox news host doing coke.
Talk about an dramatic entrance, girl rolled up on a stolen bike and was wearing heels and a dress, through it on the ground and said "you guys want a bike?" Of course i jumped on that shit, any sane person would!
I think we need a list of things that are automatic NO's for dating a guy. Married, definitely a no now
"what's it like being a dancer turned stoner" well, i can change the netflix using my feet mid bongrip, so there's that.
The walk home lasted longer than the sex. He lives in the flat above the bar.
Harry Potter pub crawl tonight. You know you're living your life right when your check list for the evening is wizard robes, wand and acid.
Once again, your first date sounds like something of an epic. Odysseus' Quest for Fourth Base.
Randomize
