im over her. I got weed and youtube. everything i could ever ask for.
At the pride parade. It's not even noon and I'm drunk as shit... for equality of course
i know im back at school when i can poke any random spot on my body and expect a 80% chance that theres a bruise there
Well, I just watched him puke into his pitcher at the bar, I doubt he cares about anything other than the fact that he needs a new beer.
i think i figured out where our problem might have started...when we poured more tequila on top of out margaritas to melt the ice bc they were too cold
hahaha or putting rum in the bbq sauce?
You're not required to sleep with every guy that spends $10 on you.
when you agree to fuck a guy it does by NO means make it okay for his roommate to hide in the closet with doritos and watch
He kept pouting and saying i cockblocked him and I kept yelling "I'm sorry...but the cock was never out to be blocked"
My vag has a bald spot. That is so middle aged. Is this my midlife crisis?
He did not appreciate the "you did reuse the diamond" comment when looking at his new fiance's ring.
Yeah no problem. What are blow job angels for anyways
I think he's trying to finish jacking off before throwing up again
I'm making myself the patron saint of bisexuality
Tip of the day: Don't Amazon vibrators when your WHOLE FAMILY uses your prime account. There's dildo after dildo showing up in my "Related to Items You've Viewed" category on the home page.
She was cute in her own little way. Shit, free taco's makes anyone hot.
Randomize
