Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
Everyone agrees they like your mother better drunk
Why is your signature on my underwear?
So i was told that i peed in the sink, had sex with a pillow and banged on a washer while singing idian chants
Hey man thanks for carrying me in and out of that frat house. There's no I in team.
He had a beer bottle in each of his back pockets and was on rollerblades. All I remember is following him for about 10 minutes
He was singing Justin Beiber while we did it. I love secure Spanish men
Most likely. calling 911 isnt usually something i do the first time i hang out w. someone, but hey. its a good story now.
She's trying to feed the TV fried rice and screaming "FRIED RICE AND TEARS". Please bring me more booze.
Dave got tied up again. I'm done breaking into girls houses to cut him loose. At least before noon.
I'm going to be fiscally responsible and buy a handle.
Crying while listening to Miley Cyrus. BE GLAD YOU JUMPED THIS SINKING SHIP!
Just got offered cocaine at ihop. Stay classy America.
Once he bit me I drew the fucking line.
I'm really excited to meet your new dude! But we really need to find out if he's your cousin first.
Randomize
