How old was that tiny chick? she needs a lard iv.
About to trim my pubes so if you decide to walk in, viewer discretion is advised.
The guy you hooked up with is asleep in the tub. I just pee'd and he said 'turn off the tap' before snoring again.
I miss college girls! You know how depressing it is to fuck 30 year olds? That's what failure feels like
I'm trying to decide whether it's worth it to masturbate in this gas station bathroom
At least I got to make out with you a little before you proposed.
If you get home and there is an older woman there, its my mom. She wants to come and see the place after work. Just an FYI. Not the older sluts I bang.
Oh my god I found my bf's erotica
OH MY GOD HE WROTE THIS EROTICA.
OH MY GOD THIS IS GOOD EROTICA.
Also I know you probably did not understand anything I said on the phone last night but thank you for pretending.
Could you just like have a friend who feels bad for me and secretly always wanted to have sex with me
I'm going to book club and then I'm going to get laid. Being in your 20s ain't so bad sometimes.
They're letting me in by good graces, I can't show up with a fist full of dildos
Hung out near hay bales in sweaters then she gave me a pumpkin spice pop rocks bj. That was so freakin' seasonal.
He took a shot of vodka and AND ATE ME OUT AS A CHASER. YESSS. I AM IN LOVE.
dude im trying to eat his ass so can you stop for 10 minutes
Randomize
