I'm fascinated by her cleavage. She has deep cleavage, but no obvious boobage to speak of. Check it out.
Instead of having sex, we spent the entire night making pillow forts and have sword fights. I think I'm in love
I just almost got out my car and drop kicked this one chick over parking. Welcome to the first day of spring semester.
So i was told that i peed in the sink, had sex with a pillow and banged on a washer while singing idian chants
there are teeth marks in the soap. why are there teeth marks in the soap.
I want to let you in on my two latest life goals. Have a photograph of me squirting whipped cream into a midget's mouth, and have sex on a roof.
Drunk me cleaned my room for me. Needless to say our relationship has improved greatly
I woke up to the sound of gentle rain, only to realize I was laying under a urine trough in the men's restroom. Fuck you, bourbon. Fuck you.
My unemployment came through so I'd like to thank the taxpayers of Utah in advance for my level of intoxication this weekend
I drew a nude short fat middle aged woman today and liked it
It was honestly one of my favorite days in art class except for the 20 min she faced me and kept looking at me and we made eye contact
I feel like I deserve an award for facing my fear of penises in my face.
My roommate walked in naked grabbed my hand and pulled me into her room to see her randoms dick.
Decided to smoke a bowl in my closet while my parents are gone. Just sat in the closet because I couldn't remember how to get out. Started panicking cuz I thought they were gonna show up... Checked my phone. It's been 4 minutes.
You now have a new job. Call me around 1pm everyday and make sure I've eaten something. All I've had today is dick and cheesecake.
I peed in my closet, which at the time looked like a sparkly bathroom...
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