great, thanks for announcing that I gave you head over twitter
at least I said it was good
You were in my dream and you got the lyrics to lollipop tattooed on your chest. Don't get it, it wasnt that cool.
Just found a dugout in my rental car glove box. Suddenly my mood is upbeat.
Ok, so for future reference, in Rome, "piano bar" means "brothel".
How does one fall all the way up a flight of stairs? Its hard on me knowing that the survival of our species depends on me not reproducing.
I don't think my prof knows we've noticed her No Bra Fridays.
It smells like someone died in our apartment and ya'll used some random orifice of his body to smoke weed out of. Side note, how did we get a guitar?
during charades she pointed to herself and you guessed 'girl who wants to fuck me'
2048oz a keg...divide that by solo cup... comes out to 128 beers...simplifies into 5.3repeating cases...drinkable between two people
and u failed math?
Right now Tom has the 2nd floor office bathroom under siege. He shit/clogged one toilet, and he's throwing up in the sink.
I've counted four places at work I need to get laid in. Come help me accomplish this.
Hey, I'm your guy
I just want nice things and good sex
Sneezing cum all over the table was not the highlight of the family reunion if that tells you anything
I'm to childless and to single to be asking myself why I'm so sticky
According to the rule of quantum porn mechanics, the mere thought of something kinky causes it to exist. So out there, somewhere, there is already riddler/smurf porn...
Randomize
