Alls I know is that his gf looked like Beyonce and he looked like Babar
so the weed I found in my fridge is actually lettuce. tell jim I need that 5 bucks after all
she's sitting on the other side of the room at this party. with her smirnoff tucked in that little opening between her cleavage and shirt. drinking from a straw. snapping her fingers off beat.
it's love
Ha Ha the cop that just pulled me over would like me to tell you hi!
I'm getting the same feeling waiting for the web-page to load that has my final grades that I get when I take a pregnancy test. I think I'm gonna leave my computer for 3 minutes.
Overall win. We all know who got to sleep on the concrete outside of Denny's with you.
They got me high and left me at the mall with a giftcard for $400. I need an adult.
He purred while eating me out. HE PURRED AND I LIKED IT.
This is how baked we were last night. Our drinking game: We stare at each other; first one to laugh drinks.
btw im having a "its finally warm enough for a bbq in Toronto" party tonight. bring all the alcohol you have. and hamburger buns.
Signs of a stoner: trying everything in your fridge topped with peanut butter to seek satisfaction.
My mom just said she had more presents to wrap, so I should "smoke some weed & go back to bed"... She really is Santa Claus
I think drunk me is trying to kill me.
He asked me how many starwars references he could make before i no longer find him attractive.
you thought the best thing to say to him was "you aint no fuckin cop"
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