As long as you don't die I'm in full support of your drinking decisions
he prob just wants to be friends and here i am photoshopping our kids
I fingered her though her window because she couldn't leave
Accidentally hit on the same girl twice at the bar, she give me her number both times though so I think its cool.
I apparently made a "health and fitness" subcatagory called "drugs" on mint at some point. I used it to catagorize all of my nyc atm withdrawls for $60 haha
Im at that shitty point in my day where I start planning night activities while finger dipping vyvance off of my desk, you got any plans?
Do you have any idea how hard it is to iphone keyboard type "roflcopter" when intoxicated?
My mom just gave me my fake back to buy her more wine.
I feel like we should apologize to the light saber. We were REALLY inappropriate with it last night.
JEREMY RENNER GOT DIVORCED. I STILL HAVE A CHANCE.
MY GOD DAMN TV STOPS WORKING EVERY TIME I AM THIS FUCKING HIGH. WHY MUST IT TORMENT ME?!
was I atleast graceful when I feel down that flight of stairs and broke my hand?
I mean, I already hooked up with her boyfriend. The least I can do is accept her facebook friend request.
Bro I just got a hand job playing tiny wings.. Hell yea
Third time this week I've caught co workers dry humping. Quarantine really changes people's priorities.
Randomize
