I wish they made sweatshirts for legs
you mean pants?
i should write a book entitled 'the joys of being sexually objectified'
She looks makes a Zellweger face when she cums, she's keeps asking why I call her renee
Even tho I saw his penis. He is still a really nice guy.
1. They have gold fish races every wednesday. 2. They have a redbull vodka slushie. We need to visit this place.
1. My fish will beat your fish. 2. Were getting fucked up
So, I'm stoned at his house petting the neighbors cat I made him steal.
You're a fucking train wreck.
Hes drunk and dancing naked. I can hear his dick smacking his legs from the next room.
I guess I've just seen a lot of penises since then
I'm proud of you, you were pretty classy last night, you didn't puke AND you didn't take off your shirt, except for those two times in the corner.
Sober me admires drunk me's enthusiasm, but there is no way I'm going to make it out there today.
Lol drunk you is so full ideas and happy. Sober you is full of grumpy reality.
You said you liked how I put the cream cheese on.
Good. Go forth, young stallion. Destroy the vaginal region with your tidy crotch.
She just asked me if I was going to stay the night. I responded "I know that we are upside down".
honestly i've never been more attracted to you than when you threw up on my floor
It's been a week I should not still be finding glitter in my pants.
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