I was taking a piss and started puking. I pissed myself and made a mess in the bathroom. Passed out, then got up and went back out from 11pm to 5am.
I changed 4 diapers and slept horribly in our hot apt. Now, I'm at my inlaws house watching the Rangers get pummeled. Oh how our lives differ.
Hate sex is AWESOME! I faked it, and when she fell asleep i came in her purse.
On ecstasy, in Ikea. this is incredible.
I thinking of taking all of the pics of his dick that he's sent me and making a calendar.
It's my first ever "i'm sorry for my excessive drug use" hand turkey. And I think it's pretty boss.
Just witnessed my roommate pick her nose and eat it in her sleep. Remember, you made out with that.
I tried to interpretive dance to Candy Shop to stop the awkwardness.
Just found out that guy A from the threesome I had is now dating guy B's younger sister
Paris has not been good for her. Everytime she has a one night stand from a different country, she buys a mini flag and tapes it to her wall with the others
I'll text you later. I think she thinks we're taking this whole "no sex" thing seriously.
I will forever remember this as The Great Jalepeno Cock Burn of 2014.
WOKE UP NEXT TO A PLATE OF MEATBALLS HAPPY MONDAY
How does one acquire holy water?
Ugh. It's days like these that make me wish my bad habits would kill me faster
The sex was so good we high-fived after.
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